5 - 0 whitewash by the Aussies. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Weather is the only thing that might save the Poms! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Well Mr Blue "Glenn McGrath" Dog, I think it may be a tad closer than that. Mind you, I'm writing this as the first day comes to a close and I don't think there'll be many draws!
I think England will win because their batting is better, but they are not the favourites that a lot of our press seem to think they are
Oh dear, here we go again.... :D
QuoteMr Blue "Glenn McGrath" Dog
Ha, Ted. More like Mr Blue "can't bowl, can't bat, can't field, can't predict" Dog. My cricketing skills rival that of one of our former Prime Ministers, seen here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o8by05rtMY
At the risk of offending the U.K. chaps (at least those who can figure out the game ;)), with the Admiral being half W.A., I must need root for Oz.
Pip, pip,
Conky
Goodonyer Mate.
We're only three days in, and I'm knackered already. Which is the most incompetent team? England, Australia, or the umpires?
Uh-oh :(
Lunch, Ted. How tense is this?
Too blooming tense! The Aussies need to reverse their batting order.
Haha. Only a minor change required: whole new top order should do it!
Revised prediction: Aussies 4, England 1. Only weather will save the Poms. ;D ;D ;D ;D
This is going to be a close series. England have the firepower upfront, but Australia have useful seamers and a very handy lower order. If Jimmy Anderson should happen to, say, step on a stray cricket ball in training, then I think that the sides would be pretty much even.
Great match......but!
"To walk or not to walk.....whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and wides of outrageous Press...or uphold the last bastion of of a gentleman's sport?"
I have to agree with "Agner's". It will be a sad day when we no longer see a batsman not even look up at the umpire and set forth for the pavillion. The problem is that like all other sports, it has become tainted by money, sales and business attitudes.
What a shame!
Bounder :'(
I think that cricket has never really been the paragon virtue that people fondly imagine it to have been. WG Grace once infamously refused to leave the crease upon being bowled because "they've come to see me bat, not to see you bowl, sonny". At the level I play at the umpires are usually part of the batting side and the temptation to ignore flagrant edges and plumb LBs all too often overcomes them. One season I did some stats to see how we got out and how we got our wickets. We had two successful appeals for LBW and gave one to the opposition (I was umpiring!) in a whole season.
I guess what I'm getting to is that when male egos clash, the veneer of gentlemanliness quickly wears off, and probably always has done. In fact, cricket probably has a greater problem than some other sports because of the lack of opportunity to get physical, so people resort to verbal attacks.
Hmmmm.... not how I remember the days of Peter May, Freddie Laker and others.....
They would be welcome additions to CFC....but not Mr. Broad!
Interesting though that Jonathan Agnew's opinion was also in minority yesterday....definitely a sign of the times!
Bounder (Retired .....of Tunbridge Wells)
For the mystified gentlemen from other climes benefit; here are the basic rules of cricket
1. There are two teams. One out, one in.
2. The team that's out try to get the player that's in, out.
3. When they do get him out, he goes in.
4. Then the next player goes out. As long as he's out, he's in.
5. The object is then for the team that's out to get the second player out. When they get him out, he goes in.
6. This process is repeated for each innings until the team that's out gets the team that's in all out.
7. When the whole team is out, the team that was in goes out, and the team that was out goes in.
8. Then they play a second innings until they're all out. Except one player. He remains not out.
Quote from: =CfC=Bounder on July 15, 2013, 08:09:19 PM
Hmmmm.... not how I remember the days of Peter May, Freddie Laker and others.....
Freddie Laker was more likely to have been an employer of yours than someone you saw playing cricket! Perhaps you were thinking of Jim Laker or Fred Trueman? Actually, I'm pretty sure the latter was a nasty piece of work. Also I'm sure Bluey and Tinks would point to Douglas Jardine (1930s) as being a gent who didn't have a lot of time for the spirit of cricket.
Oops....yes you are right.....Freddie Laker was my boss at BUA in the 60's........you can now see how my brain is loosing cells so rapidly! How could I fail to remember "Jim" and all the wickets he took in that famous match way back when I was in short trousers and held these chaps in the highest esteem.
I guess that like Agnew, we will agree to differ on our opinion as to how to go about playing the game. I can tell you that I was distraught at watching Broad taking his boot off before lunch and trying to reduce the number of overs. A poor reflection of what was once a gentleman's pastime now reduced to the manner in which another sport is played with a round ball instead of an oval ball.
I beg to differ!
Bounder :'(
Bounder, I'm not defending Stuart Broad (I actually thought his time-wasting a worse crime than waiting for the umpire to give him out) or anyone else who does any of the other acts of gamesmanship, just trying to point out that these things have always been in cricket.
Just in case you want me drummed out of Chuffy's as a bad apple, I'd like to report that I walked earlier this season when our umpire wasn't going to give me out. :)
So, were you out when you should of been in or in thinking you were out Ted? I be confuddled :)
Quote from: BalDaddy on July 16, 2013, 05:01:45 PM
So, were you out when you should of been in or in thinking you were out Ted? I be confuddled :)
Basically I knew I'd hit the ball into the wicketkeeper's gloves, but our umpire (a teammate, remember) either didn't know or knew but was prepared to brazen it out if I didn't admit to it. I took the decision out of his hands by walking off. This is considered the gentlemanly thing to do - and it's what Stuart Broad conspicuously failed to do. However his case is slightly different in that he had an independent umpire deciding whether or not he hit it, and that umpire said he didn't. A basic tenet of cricket is that the umpire's decision is final - if he gives you out you certainly shouldn't argue, so why should you if he erroneously gives you not out?
Quote from: BalDaddy on July 15, 2013, 09:47:00 PM
For the mystified gentlemen from other climes benefit; here are the basic rules of cricket
1. There are two teams. One out, one in.
2. The team that's out try to get the player that's in, out.
3. When they do get him out, he goes in.
4. Then the next player goes out. As long as he's out, he's in.
5. The object is then for the team that's out to get the second player out. When they get him out, he goes in.
6. This process is repeated for each innings until the team that's out gets the team that's in all out.
7. When the whole team is out, the team that was in goes out, and the team that was out goes in.
8. Then they play a second innings until they're all out. Except one player. He remains not out.
Best...post...ever... :D :D :D
Thanks Conkers; but plagiarized of course. Ted may concur this has been around since Woof was a lad :)
Quote from: =CfC=Father Ted on July 16, 2013, 01:28:37 PM
Bounder, I'm not defending Stuart Broad (I actually thought his time-wasting a worse crime than waiting for the umpire to give him out) or anyone else who does any of the other acts of gamesmanship, just trying to point out that these things have always been in cricket.
Just in case you want me drummed out of Chuffy's as a bad apple, I'd like to report that I walked earlier this season when our umpire wasn't going to give me out. :)
Dear oh dear.......Teders... I consider you to be a pillar of gentlemanliness...It is just that in the 50's things were somewhat different (certainly my memories of it) without pressures of expensive teams, product placement and all the other things that have gone to change the game. I guess that I'm just reminiscing and wishing for my youth back again!
Bounders ;D
Quote from: BalDaddy on July 17, 2013, 10:05:02 AM
Thanks Conkers; but plagiarized of course. Ted may concur this has been around since Woof was a lad :)
...and of course it make the whole thing sound much less complicated than it actually is.
Quote from: BalDaddy on July 17, 2013, 10:05:02 AM
Thanks Conkers; but plagiarized of course. Ted may concur this has been around since Woof was a lad :)
Do we have a Chaplain in the Squadron to whom I can complain anent the constant use of my manly years as a yardstick by which momentous events are dated? Or is sulking on the bountiful bosom of Matron my only solace? :'(
Don't do that Woofers old stick, we will never see you again.......
'Woof's in there!! Chuffys never leave a man behind!! I'm going in!!'
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D (at BalDaddy & Woof's comments)
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( (at the inept performance by Oz batsmen)
Ted, you are required to report to Australia House for a quick citizenship ceremony. You're opening for Australia next test.
Would you believe 3:2 (Aussies favour)?
Quote from: =CfC=BlueDog on July 22, 2013, 06:52:11 AM
Would you believe 3:2 (Aussies favour)?
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oil!, Oi!, Oil!
Bit of a duff way to retain the urn. Australia played the best cricket most of this match, and a win for them would have given England a kick up the backside for the next two matches.
Bummer! :( :'(
I'll settle for 2/2.
I'm not usually bullish about this, but...
No chance. Cook and Trott can't keep failing, Pietersen and Bell are in form, and Root's ready to go again. England will ditch Bresnan in favour of Graham Onions, who's in decent nick. They'll also replace the nervous hitter who is Bairstow with a batsman in the (small) shape of James Taylor.
Michael Clarke's back will go, Ryan Harris is past his injury sell-by date, and Watto's got the hump because Warner opened.
QuoteMichael Clarke's back will go, Ryan Harris is past his injury sell-by date, and Watto's got the hump because Warner opened.
:o :o :D :D :D :'( :'(
Bounder, is there a silicon tape skin available in IL2? Thought I might try a couple of layers so that 'hits' won't be detected! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: =CfC=BlueDog on August 09, 2013, 06:30:53 AM
Bounder, is there a silicon tape skin available in IL2? Thought I might try a couple of layers so that 'hits' won't be detected! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
This debate took an interesting turn this morning......after KP's fury at being called a cheat, the designer of Hotspot has revealed that there is a coating on some bats that changes the nature of the temperature sensitivity.
What a shame that we have now come to a technology war to add to a gentleman's game.
As for IL2.....I'm sure there are still online users that will add mods that affect there indestructibility....inevitable once the code was breached. It is indeed a sad character that resorts to this and fortunately here at CfC we are a bastion of gentleman's rules....long may this continue and rub off on the younger generation brought up to accept any means to achieve their goals......did I really say that!.....I must be a genuine Old Farx!
Bounder ;D
I've had a quick read of the claims and I would say that it's a case of Hotspot not being able to cope with the conditions rather than any player deliberately trying to fox it. Players have used tape to hold bats together for decades (I've got some on mine), so tape is part of the game rather than a cunning ploy to fool Hotspot.
Also, as KP pointed out, Hotspot is the batsman's friend when it comes to inside edges defeating LBW calls, so why risk losing that?
Australia 2 fer not very many. Stuff it, I'm going to bed!
Should have stayed up!
Awoke at 2 am, turned on the TV and was pleasantly surprised to see the Poms were being handed a severe, well deserved and Matronly approved spanking. May the Gods of the Willow bless you, Chris Rogers.
She's apples!!!! :D
Just one, Lord, just one. Surely that's not too much to ask? :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Don't see how the 'soft' English team can possibly win any more tests against the Aussie 'hard' men; for we are all rough and tough like this (typically) fine chap:
http://www.canberratimes.com.au/act-news/fork-stuck-in-mans-penis-after-bizarre-sexual-mishap-20130819-2s5w2.html
AwwwG! I bet we all crossed our legs reading that.
QuoteJust one, Lord, just one. Surely that's not too much to ask?
Thanks for nothing, Lord, thanks for nothing. Well, at least it wasn't four/nothing - although it should have been.
What a shambles!!!!!!!!
And so it begins again! This time, however, the negative play by the English team will find them out on the demon Aussie bouncing pitches. So, the South African contingent (with a sprinkling of Poms) :P ;D :P ;D will return to Blighty with tail between legs!.
This time I know we will have support from the Scots, Irish, Welsh and Canadians. Cheer us on, lads, Clarky and his boys will prevail.
Woof, you remember cricket: 5 days of throwing the ball down a bit of a strip, aiming at those stumpy thingos; or trying to catch the ball that someone accidentally hits. ;D
Bluey's prediction: a 5 - 0 whitewash by Australia! (and you all know about Bluey's past prediction efforts!).
What?......no bites? Ted, Bounder, where are you? ;D
Ooppps! It's the time difference BD!
Some old quotes:-
"Don't bother shutting it son. You won't be there long enough" - Fred Trueman to an incoming batsmen as he opened the gate to take the field.
"It's four years since I bowled to you and you haven't improved" - Merv Hughes to England batsmen Robin Smith
"Neither have you" - Smith's retort after he had smashed Hughes' next delivery for four.
"Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the other side" - Merv Hughes to Robin Smith again.
"I'll bowl you a f***ing piano, you Pommie poof. Let's see if you can play that." - Merv Hughes again. This time to England opening batsman Michael Atherton.
"I couldn't work out what he was saying, except that every sledge ended with ‘arsewipe’.†- Michael Atherton on Merv Hughes.
“There's a lot of good things about England, but I don't want to tell you too many of them.†- Michael Clarke.
Latest.......
"What was it you said about Broad?"
Bounder ;D
:D :D :D :D
Jeez, is that match still going on??? Just how long does it take to play cricket? ::)
Lets see..........a quick review of day 1: our batsmen apparently still can't bat and have to leave the run scoring to the wicketkeeper and bowlers. Hmmmmm....seems familiar!
Sorry I didn't get a reply in before the start of play Bluey - but listening to the last few overs certainly improved my drive to work in the rain and the dark. The Aussie media made a big mistake in targeting Broad. He's definitely someone who thrives on a bit of aggro.
Here's a prediction: England will play better than they did in England. At home they made the mistake of making poor pitches to to try to capitalize on Swann. All this did was to level the playing field (scuse pun) and give the Aussie bowlers a chance. On decent pitches good batters (ie Eng top 7) will thrive, but only top bowlers (ie Anderson, Swann, Broad) will threaten. Therefore England should dominate. All this talk of England struggling on the faster, bouncier Aussie wickets is misguided.
If anyone wants the above paragraph translated, I'm happy to do so (if you have a day or so to spare).
Review of day two: an unexpected gloat! ;D
Uurrhmmmm!
Just a fly in my cucumber sandwich!
Bounder ::)
Ted, I suggest a bit of judicious editing of your predictive post above considering the sorry state of affairs this morn :)
*grits teeth* I'm sticking with it. England always start tours badly, and even this game isn't over yet!
review of day three: unaccustomed as I am to such a position...........
(Conky; that means things are going well for the Aussies)
Quote from: =CfC=BlueDog on November 23, 2013, 08:04:01 AM
review of day three: unaccustomed as I am to such a position...........
I didn't know the missionary's wife played cricket...
Now now, Woof, Matron will be jealous!
What the English team need: matron fielding in slips
(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn19/Gort_08/mat.jpg) (http://s300.photobucket.com/user/Gort_08/media/mat.jpg.html)
I think she would be better in silly mid on (Yes you non-English types there is such a fielding position)
My Goodness, she looks like she's ready to spit out a googly...
Well it's all fixed now.....next Test is a dead cert......
Blowers is getting married!!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/news/10481009/Henry-Blofeld-at-last-love-has-bowled-me-over.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/news/10481009/Henry-Blofeld-at-last-love-has-bowled-me-over.html)
Bounder :o
:)
::) ::) :o ??? :-\ :-X
Bounder
:) :)
I guess the snow is up.....out with the sledge!
Bounder ::)
:) :) :) :) :)
One chicken, two chickens. C'mon eggs, time to hatch! ;D
Can someone delete this thread? Please?
It's all right Ted, we have to let them win occasionally or they get huffy and take their ball home....
:) :) :)
The English have been vanquished and the Urn returns to the Colonies where it rightfully belongs.
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Hmmmmmmm........ all seems mighty quiet on the Western Front! ;D ;D
FT?
So......... the good guys win back the ashes and there are no comments???????
Seems to me the Poms need to employ a sledging coach and a sand-shoe crushing coach.
All in all though, I (and many others) are disappointed with the obvious bad blood between the teams. Just not cricket!
Being gentleman here at CfC it's often better to have a good laugh when things go seriously wrong!:-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk)
Have a great Christmas BD and enjoy a brief spell and flourish at the top of the game!
Bounder ;D
What? It's over already? They've only been playing for a couple of months!
Quote from: =CfC=Bounder on December 20, 2013, 11:46:06 AM
Being gentleman here at CfC it's often better to have a good laugh when things go seriously wrong!:-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk)
Have a great Christmas BD and enjoy a brief spell and flourish at the top of the game!
Bounder ;D
I clicked on the link above and got a message saying "Sorry, this video is not available in your country". What excruciatingly salacious film am I missing, Bounder, that we of the New World would be mortified to see?
Sorry Woof! Probably because it is very British type laughing material with limited scope in US.
You could try this version which might come up?
]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ)
Bounder ;D
Quote from: =CfC=Bounder on December 21, 2013, 02:41:42 PM
Sorry Woof! Probably because it is very British type laughing material with limited scope in US.
You could try this version which might come up?
]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ)
Bounder ;D
Bounder, Bounder, Bounder, what are you doing to me? I'm little Eva, lost in the snow drifts...
I say Bounder old Bean; have you recovered from your English Lurgi that you contracted on landing on these chilly shores?
Sorry for the delay in replying Bluey. I have been far too busy over the last few weeks concocting the biggest humble pie you've ever seen and now I'm about to tuck into it...
Quote from: =CfC=Woof on December 21, 2013, 06:42:02 PM
Quote from: =CfC=Bounder on December 21, 2013, 02:41:42 PM
Sorry Woof! Probably because it is very British type laughing material with limited scope in US.
You could try this version which might come up?
]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ)
Bounder ;D
Bounder, Bounder, Bounder, what are you doing to me? I'm little Eva, lost in the snow drifts...
Last try Woof..........can you watch this version?
http://www.firstpost.com/topic/person/henry-blofeld-brian-johnston-descending-into-giggles-during-a-test-match-e-video-2aIagPztV-s-41468-1.html (http://www.firstpost.com/topic/person/henry-blofeld-brian-johnston-descending-into-giggles-during-a-test-match-e-video-2aIagPztV-s-41468-1.html)
Bounder ;D
PS....BD I'm even more crook today than a week ago! I'm beginning to think that I'm allergic to Blighty!
Thanks, Bounder and very funny, but my, what dirty minded devils you English are...
My Grannie says you're a bunch of sledging bully boys and I'm not allowed to play with you:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-24/grandmother-blames-nasty-aussies-for-swann-exit/5173420
Uh oh.................... :(
Quote from: =CfC=BlueDog on December 27, 2013, 08:15:10 AM
Uh oh.................... :(
Doesn't matter now though. does it?
QuoteBluey's prediction: a 5 - 0 whitewash by Australia!
Bluey - predictor extraordinaire! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Seems the pom Sheilas know what to do with Oz bats and balls!
Bounder ;D